Purrfect Properties Blog

The 10 Big Fictional Clients that I Didn’t Have to Help!

We’re just coming out of our May long weekend, and this particular tuesday calls for some real estate humor.  So here are the 10 Big Fictional clients that I didn’t have to help.

1. Snow White

 

Are you kidding me?  8 Bedrooms?  There is only one home on MLS in Edmonton that has 8 bedrooms, and being a 1912 home, it is older than you are Snow.  Like the picture shows, you’re going to need a castle snow, and they just don’t make that style of home here in Edmonton.

2. Captain Hook

 

Hook, this is Alberta and we’re land locked all around here.  Yes the draft on your ship is not so big at 48 inches, but 110 feet?  Come on.  There’s no way that you can sail that thing here.  I’ve got an idea, why don’t you let me contact one of our Remax Referral agents on the West Coast.  Sailing in the Pacific Northwest is fantastic this time of year!

3. Elsa of Arendelle

 

Yes, yes, it snows here a lot Elsa, but not enough obviously.  It’s hard enough to get clients out of their home for a showing for an hour, nevermind a day so the house can thaw! On top of that I have to get to each home 30 minutes early so I can turn up the heat, making sure the pipes don’t freeze.  Talk about extended showings.  Elsa, can I interest you in a trip further north?

4. Morticia Adams

 

No Morticia, there’s no way that I can search MLS with a restriction of “death in the home.” That’s not a really popular search. Yes, there are reports of haunted places in Edmonton, but none of them are for sale.  Truth be told, I’m not so sure I want to enter those houses anyways.  Tell you what, you go first, and no, I’m not going into the basement or the attic.

5. Catwoman

 

Yes, yes, I know, you like to sleep during the day, so you can only look at night.  You need big windows letting the sun in and a really quiet neighbourhood.  Ten o’clock is too late to do showings, especially for the homes with kids in them.  You want tall trees and lots of birds… I’ll do what I can.

6. Regina Mills from “Once Upon a Time”

 

First you need a castle, then you need a Georgian styled home.  Really Regina, make up your mind. There’s got to be some fable named streets in this city, but I haven’t found any as of yet.  Perhaps you could use some of your magic to re-write our maps and street signs.  For now, I’ll keep looking for a builder who can make you that Georgian inspired house.

7. Trinity

 

Seriously Trinity, every time I find the purrfect house, you dissapear.  Not to mention that, but you have the strangest ringtone I’ve ever heard.  There one minute and gone the next.  If the house is that bad, just tell me, don’t sneak out the window.

 8. Oda Mae Brown

 

Okay, now, this is starting to get creepy.  I’ve dealt with a lot of people that want to talk it over with their spouse when they get home, but who is this “Sam” guy you keep talking to?  If you aren’t diggin a house, or the feeling in a house, we’ll move onto the next one, just stop saying Sam doesn’t like it, please.

9. Dora the Explorer

 

I know you can read a map and get to the showing on time, that’s great.  Do you really have to open up every door and drawer in the house?  Some of that stuff is private you know.  No, I don’t want to know what’s in that drawer.  No, don’t open their fridge…

10. Buffy The Vampire Slayer

 

Buffy, you can’t bring your weapons with you to showings, the truth is, they freak me out.  Leave the crossbows, knives, stakes and weapons of all sorts in the car.  Don’t you think we can just lock the doors when we go into each house?  Especially if it’s still daylight outside.  No I will not take you to showings after dark, you’re S.O.L.

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